Brittany back to the hospital....

I dug out this old paper from CTMH with a new stamp set. Very nice. This is a very easy layout that always seems to look good. There is a concho in the middle of the flower, not sure if you can tell!

The good, no make that great, news in my life is that Alec made it through school yesterday. Yahoo. We had a really good day. I think maybe the new anti anxiety medication helped. He did call me once, at the end of first period. But I told him to go to class, and he did! WOOHOO.

On the surprise side Casey had a tough day. He had a poster due to his reading teacher and was unable to find four realistic things about his character. I didn't find them either. So, he left the poster at home instead of taking in incomplete. He would rather get in trouble for not having his homework than turn it in unfinished. I tried VERY hard to talk with him about how homework isn't supposed to be this stressful and I was POSITIVE that his teacher would understand. But he is stubborn.... I wonder where he gets this? Maybe one of his many aunts (ya know, you ladies that read this blog). Certainly couldn't be both of his parents..... Anyway I emailed his teacher, and I came clean and told him. He was furious with me. He hates people seeing him as less than perfect I guess. I assured him that this was nothing to be embarrassed about. I hope he believed it.... Anyway, I guess this didn't really make for a tough day, just a teachable moment.

I am working on a true fit folio project for the Heirloom Show in March. I am enjoying just playing instead of trying to accomplish something. Maybe it was time for a break. I feel good this week. Alec being at school yesterday was WONDERFUL, if only because it gave me a tiny bit of alone time. Well, time for me and the girls (ya know, the short hairy people with four legs that live here.) Boy, I am getting chatty in my old age.

BTW, did you notice that this post has NOTHING to do with Brittany back to the hospital? LOL Poor girl, I do feel for her, clearly she needs meds!!!!!!

Lesson learned....

I love cards that are fast and look good! This was made with Serendipity stamps and Good Times Paper... I also used the Celebrate set for Happy Birthday.

Yesterday was a long and hard day. The main message from the meetings with the therapists was, "Alec is not going to change, you are going to have to learn to embrace him as he is." Of course I know this, but somehow I am not parenting on this basis. I am parenting on the basis of what I believe... I believe that school is important and he should get all of his work done, to the best of his ability. I believe that he should get a punishment for 'choosing' (in my opinion) not to go to school or not to do the homework. I believe that Alec should be able to connect rewards with proper behavior. I believe that he should be able to learn proper behavior. I believe he should be able to learn to shut up sometimes, instead of talking. There are so many things that I believe. But, I need to let them go and realize a few different things....

School might just be more important for me than for Alec. I need him to go to school so that I am not with him 24/7. It is critical to our relationship. Our relationship is more important than his education, no matter how smart he is... Just because he is capable of doing the work, that doesn't mean that he has to do the work and get a good job. It is OK if he wants to end up as a gas station attendant. (OK, I am not sure I will ever get there but I am trying.)

The good news is that his psychologist doesn't think he will live at home forever. (Thank you God). But, anger, frustration, stubbornness, and anxiety will always be at his core... and he will have to deal with them... medication helps, but won't make him 'normal.' Asperger's Syndrome can't be treated. Only the symptoms can be treated. Symptoms are basically that he gets taht he isn't normal, but he can't make himself normal. This makes him frustrated and angry. I think this is so hard because we see glimpses of normal. Those glimpses make me want normal, even believe normal is possible. I even told the psychologist yesterday that I think this would be easier if the problem weren't mental, but physical... in my opinion that would be more noticable. We try to treat him as a normal kid when we see glimpses of normalcy. Within that I have some core belief that if he wanted to be normal, he could be. He is just being difficult. But, you know what. That isn't true.... he isn't 'normal' he is on the autism spectrum. I must deal with him that way. I do love him, so much. I love how great he is with young children and animals. Our relationship is more important than school... and it does not make me a bad parent to not put school first. It makes me a realist. I can live with the reality that our relationship is number one. I want him to feel safe here at home, not anxious and uncomf0rtable. So, for those reasons I pledge to tell him what he needs to do for school, but not force him to do it. I think I can I think I can I think I can...

Thus my post from yesterday.... I need to find Joy in this season, THIS ONE, now. God gave Alec to us for a reason. And God gave us to Alec for a reason. We need to love and SUPPORT unconditionally. Love seems like the easy part, but to him when we push too hard he doesn't feel that love. He needs to feel it. He certainly doesn't feel it at school, so he must feel it at home...even if that means that his school work does not come before that love. So now he is going to school, but that is as far as I am going to push.... I can do this.... my lesson learned.

My New New Year's Resolution

Thanks to my new friend Thea for my new New Year Resolution...

"JOY comes from embracing the circumstances and season of life where God has put you and accepting the responsibilities that go with that season."

Photo Wallet Tuesday.... who won in Florida???

I found this tutorial: http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/resources/photowallet.php on making a photo wallet. I am planning on doing these at the Heirloom Show in Portland in March. I want to do this during the Friday night session, where people move fairly quickly to different stations. Fun!

I am exhausted tonight. Took Alec to both docs. I feel alright about the sessions. Maybe more realisitc than I was feeling before. It is such a long drive each way (about an hour) and so exhausting to talk about hard stuff for so long. We did go to lunch afterward and have a lovely time. It is nice to just hang with him sometimes. And, he sure does love food! LOL I just have to remember those wonderful times everyday. Enjoy the project! (Hint: I am making one for the Stamp of the Month Swap.... um, with a different stamp set though! LOL)

OH, and right now it looks like McCain in Florida! Yea, he is my boy. =-)

True Friends

I saw a very similar card and loved it! I think this is a very fun and easy card to make and send. Any other ideas for what to say?

A little snow on the ground here. Kids are off school, but for an inservice day for teachers. I hope it is a nice relaxing day!

Looking into some more school options for Alec. But, I don't know what will work.. I am afraid if I homeschool it will completely ruin our mother son relationship. But, it is still an option. Have a happy Monday.

SUN-day

Well, so much for the good day theorey. It wasn't a bad day, just didn't turn out the way I was hoping in my last post. I did go shopping, I did get the newspaper, I did get off the couch! Oh well. Alec had to do homework today. It is soooo very painful to work with him. He won't do anything without a complaint. We are working on drafting a letter to Dr Phil. Maybe he can help us.... I kind of feel like we are scraping the bottom of the barrel. We did find a parent support group sort of nearby. We plan to go there on Friday night. We need some support because things have gotten worse this year, instead of better. Worse really by a lot.... I did go to the gym, yahoo. I have been really good about that. I am actually glad to be exercising some again. Not really watching my food intake, but very glad to be exercising. It feels good to sweat some of my frustration out. And, I love that we have a gym in the neighborhood. (Oh yes, one of the reasons I wanted to buy here.) Off to eat dinner. Yahoo.... london broil, fresh veggies, and rolls... yummy.

Easy...

I love easy cards. They come together fast and are very very fun. I am really liking this paper pack, definitely my favorite from the Spring 2008 collection.

I am glad it is Sunday! I don't even think I am going to go grocery shopping until tomorrow. I am sitting with Aspen on the couch, and Mike is sitting with Kassie on his couch... opposite me... We both have our computers and our blankets too. The fireplace is going.... I haven't even been out to get the newspaper. I think it is going to be a good day....

Fine!

My friend Olivia is here. She came over to play with ME and spend the day with ME. Guess what? Alec stole her... she is off playing with him instead. It soo isn't fair... Waaaa. OK, she is 3, so she probably likes Alec better, but still.... WA! Olivia is Janelle's darling daughter. I remember about 4 years ago when we first found out that Janelle was PG! I was sooo excited. Oh well, for them too.

Here is a card I made that was ispired by Adeline's retiform card. It took a very short time and was just fun to make.

It is very icey here in the NW. I drove home from Vancouver this morning and the main roads were fine. But my own neighborhood, ick. My own driveway, ick. It is about 31 degrees out, and noon. THe main road from here to the coast is closed due to icy conditions. OK, I am ready for spring now! LOL I am so glad I don't live in a place where it snows, that would be a bummer. Off to steal Olivia back from Alec...

Thoughts of You

This is a fun new stamp set. I saw this card and knew I had to make one similar. Very fun! It is made with the paper garden papers and buttons from my accents. Lean on me comes from the Friendship Word Puzzle. I am trying to steal moments in my scrapbook room. I know I am not scrapbooking right now, I only have snippets of time so that doesn't work for me. So, I am creating a few cards. I am not feeling terribly inspired lately, so I am trying to find things I love and pretty much copy them. I think that is a good way to still get some things done to make you happy, but with limited creativity required.

Asperger's Syndrome

Here is an interesting, and very sad article, that should give you some idea of what is going on with Alec. It made me cry because it is sooo true. http://www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/obj/s4/f2/dsk2/ftp04/mq23540.pdf

For my dear friends...

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against The sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that Imust be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about howmuch Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are wellAgain. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

Thursday

Yea, Celebrity Apprentice is on tonight! Oh brother, my life has come to this.... Let's see... I realized that I took that picture of Aspen in Alec's room. She has been fantastic for him. I don't know what he would do without her. She understands and loves him. She even hangs out in his MESSY room ... or on his bed with him.

I have given up on Alec going to school this week. I will take him for bloodwork this morning. Last night was very rough. He is just so unhappy and out of control, he was even hyperventilating. Poor kid. I just held him until he finally calmed down.

I must share Casey's hair today. I can not believe how long it is. WOW. He was looking on line for some science project ideas... and I had my camera, so SNAP. So, anyone know how to make this upright? It shows upright in my photo program, but is wrong here! Oy!

Flower Child with Good Times Paper Packet

This is the card I made for Susan's swap. I thought this set was 'cute.' But, I didn't love the idea of using pink paper with it! So, I thought outside of the box. I was inspired by a card I saw on the CTMH bulletin board (for consultants only). Hope you like!

The Girls

Rather than go into all of the reasons Alec didn't go to school, again, I will start with the girls. It was the annual vet visit yesterday. Both girls got shots. Aspen is in awesome shape for a 5 year old German Shepherd, not overweight, and doing really well... even with her false hip. Her hip was replaced in 2004 and after it seemed she was doing great, a few months later her body rejected it. So, in 2005 she had her hip taken out. That means her hip area grows cartilage to form a false hip. She had to get a couple of shots, but overall a great visit! Yahoo.

Kassie also had a good visit. Although there is no vision in her one eye (not that it was expected) she is quite healthy overall. Good weight, good heartbeat and such. She does need to have her teeth cleaned. So, she got a couple of shots along with some blood drawn for the bloodwork before her teeth cleaning. That will be done in 2 weeks. So, $230 gone.... I should have been a vet instead of a math teacher! LOL

We went to the gym as a family again last night. Hopefully this is going to be a habit. That would be good. Alec won't do much, but complain, but even if he walks on the treadmill at 1mph that is better than nothing... so we are making him go, even if he doesn't want to. He could just sit in his room 24/7 and play games and watch TV. But, we are going to do the right thing, dang it, even if it kills all of us! (Which some days it feels like it might).

Have a great Wednesday.

What's in a Name?

What Liane Means

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

It's da weekend! Yahoo

The best part of the weekend for me? Sleeping in! LOL Sounds like a teenager, I know, but I love being able to sleep until 8 or 8:30, or NINE! Yahoo. It just makes me happy to come downstairs and get coffee and sit in my robe until noon. =-)



Today we cleaned the house... I know, usually a Monday thing for me, but Monday is a holiday and Mike was willing to help. We went as fast as we could... love having two extra hands to help. The boys clean their own rooms, including dusting and vacuuming which took about the same amount of time as it took us to do the whole rest of the house... including their bathrooms! Oh, and they didn't do their pets cages yet. LOL



After a brief we went back to the gym today. It is great that we have a little gym in the neighborhood. We were walking Aspen, but it was cold the last couple of days so we went to the gym... Thursday, Friday, and Saturday too. OK, I admit it feels good to sweat. I really needed to get back to exercising. I really do feel better. Casey is wanting to thin out too, so he is going with us everytime. He has already gotten taller and not gained any weight. He realizes that sneaking food (when Alec does) doesn't really help him. I think that it is interesting the changes we have seen this year. Casey (at 11) has definitely out matured Alec (13). We knew it would happen, but we really are starting to notice. Anyway, I did 15 minutes on the elliptical machine, and 10 on the bike. That crazy elliptical machine hurts SOOOOO much, but I love the fact that my feet stay on the pedals, so it feels secure. Ever since I broke my ankle in three spots, and had it put back together, I have been a little insecure about certain activities. I don't like jogging or going downhill, nothing like that.... I can't believe it has been just over 4 years now since that awful fall (literally)...

Didn't do anything creative today, finished Susan's swap yesterday. I need to get photos and upload to my computer.. soon I hope. Danielle is coming tomorrow to stay overnight. She is making us dinner! YEA and YAHOO. I am really looking forward to it! Off to have a BIG SATURDAY night!

Get a life!

Now I understand why I have been so overwhelmed lately, I need to quit blogging and actually GET a life! LOL I did some creative stuff today, so I will try to post some soon!

What to do? what to do?

Feeling overwhelmed, as usual, at the situation with Alec. This parenting thing is tooo darn hard! Grrrr. I know God gave him to us to raise for a reason. But, honestly, sometimes I don't feel like I am helping at all. The latest is that I can not get Alec to go to school. The anxiety that surrounds the idea of school is soooo high. So, he is home with no TV, computer, electronics... pestering me. Now, it isn't that I mind him around. But, he wants me to entertain him instead of get anything else done. It is just so crazy. What makes me crazy is that NO ONE seems to know what to do and how to help. I am seriously thinking about writing to Dr Phil as a last resort.... how sad that it has gotten here. But honestly, someone give me a plan that will work for longer than 10 minutes. ALec gives lip service to doing the right thing and going to school.... but everyday there is some different reason that he can't deal. Anyone know any specialists in Asperger's? Willing to move ANYWHERE at this point! Oh brother.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference, ... and the strengh to carry on. Amen

Wintertime in the USA

ROFLOL

Shoes for the Pacific Northwest!

Thanks for sharing this with me Janelle =-)