1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against The sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that Imust be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about howmuch Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are wellAgain. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".